help with adoption

Unplanned Pregnancy Options: Adoption vs Abortion vs Parenting

If you are faced with an unplanned pregnancy, you have three options.  These are adoption vs abortion vs parenting.  There are pros and cons to each of these options.  The purpose of this article is to offer the most significant pros and cons to each.   This is not a complete list of pros and cons.  It is a good place to start, though.  We suggest that you make a list of your own pros and cons for each so you can  compare the three options and make the best decision  for you and your baby.

Option 1: Parenting Your Baby

As you consider adoption vs abortion  vs parenting, you should consider parenting first.  Talk  with your support people, family and friends, to find out who can help you raise your baby.  Here are the pros of parenting:

  • Raise your baby with your family values and traditions.
  • For many, parenting is a rewarding experience.
  • Your child grows up with its biological family.

Here are the cons of parenting:

  • Parenting is  expensive.  It costs about $12,000 per year.
  • Parenting is a full-time job.  You might put your educational or other goals on hold or never achieve them.
  • A new baby takes time and resources from children you are already parenting.

For some women, choosing to parent means having baby’s father and extended family involved in baby’s life which can be a pro or a con.

Option 2:  Abortion

Abortion is not an option for many women, not just because it goes against their beliefs, but because they learn too late that they are pregnant.  You can skip this section and read more about adoption if this applies to you.  However, if you are seriously considering adoption vs abortion vs parenting, here are some things to think about.  The  pros of abortion:

  • Pregnancy terminates immediately.
  • Abortion, overall, is less expensive than parenting.
  • You can choose to be a parent when you are able and ready to be a parent.

Here are the cons of abortion:

  • You might regret the decision on moral grounds either immediately or later in life if you have other children.
  • Abortion is a medical procedure which poses risks to your fertility and can cause other health problems.
  • The procedure is expensive and can cost up to $1,000 depending on your circumstances.

Many women who choose adoption say that they are thankful abortion was not an option for them.  Adoption isn’t easy emotionally, but many birth mothers report that they are happy they chose adoption over abortion.

Option 3:  Adoption For Your Baby

Adoption isn’t right for everyone, but for some women, it is their best option.  Every situation is different, and you need to look  carefully at your own circumstances as you consider adoption vs abortion vs parenting.   Here are the pros of adoption:

  • You provide a loving couple with the child they have always dreamed of.
  • You will know that you gave your child a chance at the life you want for it.
  • Adoption is absolutely free to expectant mothers.

Here are the cons to adoption:

  • You will not raise your baby.
  • Many birth mothers say they feel the grief from the loss of their child for several years.
  • Some people won’t understand and respect your choice.

This last con is actually true for abortion as well.  However, an  abortion  is much  easier to keep a secret and to share with  only those you want to know.    Again, adoption isn’t easy emotionally, but if you spend time making your own  lists of pros and cons for adoption vs abortion vs parenting, you may find that it is your best option.

Read more articles like this!

Contact Us

Are you pregnant and thinking about adoption for your baby? I can help. You can send me your questions about adoption or ask me to send you more information. Your communication with me is always confidential, and you’re never under any obligation to do an adoption. I’m here to help, not to pressure you or tell you what to do.


Megan Cohen, Birth Attorney

Contact Megan Today

Messages are confidential