why older moms choose adoption

Adoptive mom Jen with her son the day he was born

Often, we think of birth mothers as younger mothers who aren’t ready to become a parent. However, birth mothers can be women of any age. Here are some reasons why older moms choose adoption.

They’re not in a stable relationship

Some mothers are single parents by choice, while others are single by chance. Older mothers might choose adoption because they’re not in a long term or committed relationship. Maybe they recently broke up with their baby’s father and know they won’t have his emotional or financial support.  Parenting is challenging in the best of circumstances, and single-parenting without support is particularly overwhelming.  Some women just know when they are not in a position to raise a baby on their own without support.  They want something different for their child and will search, instead, for stable adoptive parents.  They want someone who will love their child as much as they do.

They’re not financially stable

Women of any age may have financial challenges.  Some women have enough awareness to recognize that they will always struggle financially, for various reasons.  Older moms probably understand all too well the realities of what it takes to cover expenses, not only for themselves but for their dependents.  Some  will have experienced homelessness or have other children they can’t adequately care for.  Many older birth moms say that they don’t want their baby to go through what their other kids have been going through with unstable living conditions.  An older mom might choose adoption because she’s just getting back on her feet or finally getting stable after an illness or other setback.  Frequently, women choose adoption to place their child with an adoptive family who is financially stable and can provide the life she knows she cannot.

growing family through adoption

Lia (far right) with her two sisters, adopted 2012

She already has adult children

Some older moms choose adoption because they have adult children.  An unplanned pregnancy might be a source of embarrassment.  Birth mothers with adult children say that they can’t face their kids with this pregnancy.  They don’t want to be judged or thought to be irresponsible.  Many are afraid the adult children will want to parent the child which could create family conflict and tension.

These older birth mothers also know the challenges of parenting and don’t have the emotional and financial ability to start over again.  Blessed with their own children, many older birth mothers will choose adoption because they want to bless another family with a child.

Any mother who chooses adoption is making a life-changing decision, and it’s not one they take lightly. Just like younger mothers, women of any age may not be financially or emotionally ready to have a new baby and decide that adoption is the best choice for them, their family, and their new baby.

Client photos printed with permission.