Finding an adoptive family for your baby is the most critical thing you need to do once you have chosen to make an adoption plan. Perhaps you have friends or family members who want to raise your child; or perhaps you would prefer to work with an adoption agency or attorney who can introduce you to couples eager to be parents.
Whether you’re thinking about family members or considering a prospective adoptive family’s profile, what should you look for in an adoptive family?
What kind of life do you want for your child?
Here are questions to consider when finding a family for your baby:
- What do you want for your child’s future?
- Do you envision your child running around with siblings?
- Does your child live on a farm surrounded by animals, or in the middle of a city with many different educational opportunities?
- What hobbies do you see your child’s family enjoying together?
Think about the life you envision for your child, but remember to be open-minded. There are no perfect families or perfect parents, and you may surprise yourself by choosing a family whose values echo yours but who lives in a different place than you might have envisioned for your child.
Find a family who shares your parenting values
Values are very important, and it’s good to look for adoptive parents whose parenting values coincide with your own. If you haven’t been a parent before, think about your own childhood and what you might change or repeat.
Consider how you see yourself as a current or future parent. What’s most important to you? You don’t need to think about every single parenting detail, but when you’re speaking with prospective adoptive parents, it’s helpful to think about what you value.
Find a couple who shares your religious beliefs
For some people, religious or spiritual values are very important.
Are you a member of a certain religion?
If yes, you may want to make sure that your child grows up in this religion as well. Whether you’re religious or not, think about the ethics that you want to frame your child’s behavior. How do your child’s prospective adoptive parents live and express these ethics in their current lives?
Get to know the adoptive parents
Getting to know the prospective adoptive parents as people is really important. While values are important as well, the parents’ personalities will determine how they act on their values.
Try to pause for a little while and enjoy each others’ company. Some people are very relaxed while others are goal-driven. Some have a corny sense of humor, and some are sentimental. Getting to know personalities will help you envision how they will be as parents. Understanding why they want to adopt can be helpful too.
Make an adoption plan
The good news is that you can be a part of finding a family to adopt your baby.
Making an adoption plan can help you clarify what kind of future relationship you’d like to have with your child’s adoptive family. An adoption plan can outline everything from what happens in the delivery room to what happens as your child grows to adulthood. Creating this plan can help you clarify what you’d like to see and what you value.