The process for putting a baby up for adoption is pretty simple. I receive many email requests which ask many of the same types of questions. This article focuses on a few frequently asked questions about how to put a baby up for adoption and making an adoption plan. You are also welcome to text or email any questions you have. I’m a birth mother, and I’ve been there. (Read my story)
Who decides which family adopts the child?
You decide which family will adopt your baby! You don’t have to be sure whether you want to put your baby up for adoption, but you can get the process started which will likely help you decide whether putting your baby up for adoption will work for you. Here are the steps to choosing a family:
- We will collect information from you, get to know you better, and really listen to what qualities you are looking for in an adopting family.
- We collect information from adopting parents before you have even contacted our office! All of the adopting parents we work with have met with us in our office; we have spent several hours getting to know them and their dreams for a family and the type of relationship they want with a birth mother. All will have completed detailed background information and background checks.
- Once we get to know everyone, we will present you with only those families who are a match for your criteria. Adopting families come in a variety of ages, races, religions, and life styles. You will always choose who adopts your baby.
- Is financial assistance available?
If you’re making a plan to put a baby up for adoption, California allows adopting parents to help you with your pregnancy related expenses, this includes some living expenses. However, some states do not allow for certain types of support during pregnancy and some don’t permit any assistance at all. Call or email our office to find out if expense assistance is allowed in your state.
Who pays the doctor’s bill?
In every state, the adopting family may pay all medical bills that aren’t covered by your medical insurance. We may be able to help you obtain insurance. In most states, this medical assistance can happen prior to and after a woman has put a baby up for adoption.
What about counseling?
You will always decide if you want to talk with an experienced counselor. We strongly believe that an adoption should be a win-win situation. When a woman is thinking about putting a baby up for adoption, we always encourage counseling both prior to and after the arrival of the baby and understand the grieving process a birth family may go through around the birth of the child. We will refer you to a counselor in your area. We will only refer you to a counselor who is neutral as to the outcome of the adoption. Counseling bills are paid by the adopting family through our trust account. There is no cost to you at all!
(Read more about our unique team which includes a birth mother who knows what you’re going through.)
Who pays for legal services necessary for the adoption?
The adopting family always pays all legal fees and costs. The adoption will be completed at no cost to you.
(Read more about birth fathers and their rights)
Can I see the baby before and after the birth?
How much contact you have with the family before and after the birth is entirely up to you. Sometimes your ideas will change about how much contact you would like especially if you develop a strong relationship with the adopting parents. Contact can grow naturally along with your relationship. Our goal is to learn as much as we can about your thoughts on contact before you decide to put your baby up for adoption and will only present you with families who have similar feelings about contact.
Usually birth mothers meet adopting parents before the baby is born. This helps to break the ice before everyone shows up at the hospital. The birth mother and adopting family may also agree on contact after the baby is born. Most birth mothers want photos and updates via email or text messaging. Some birth mothers request visits once or twice per year after the baby is born. We work closely with birth parents and adopting parents to make sure everyone’s expectations are clear and are met.
(Read more frequently asked questions about putting a baby up for adoption)