An adoption plan is not just a process of giving birth and creating a family, it’s also an intensely emotional experience for both the birth mother and the adoptive family. If you’re giving emotional support when a friend or family member is giving a baby up for adoption*, what can you expect and what kind of support does she need?
Some birth mothers know that adoption is right for them early on in their pregnancy, while others think about the decision for a long time before they decide to commit to adoption. Whatever a birth mother’s choice might be, she will probably have many questions. Even after she’s decided on adoption, she may question her decision or feel uncertain about how it will proceed.
How can you help? As a support person, you may not have experienced adoption yourself. You may have seen friends or family members give a baby up for adoption or adopt a baby. Even if you’ve been a birth mother yourself, everyone’s experience is different. The best thing that you can do is to offer a supportive and listening ear. Let the birth mother know that you are there for her and offer to help if she needs assistance finding resources to make her choice. Adoption agencies and law firms can provide essential information as well as support for the birth mother as she determines whether adoption is the right choice for her.
What will happen after my baby is born? Uncertainty can feel scary. While adoption is a legal process, there is a lot of latitude for birth mothers to choose how they’d like to proceed at the birth and beyond. When you’re a support person for a birth mother who’s choosing adoption, you can help by encouraging her to get support from a law firm or adoption agency. These organizations will help her create an adoption plan that outlines what should happen at the birth and exactly how she’d like to connect with the child and the adoptive family in the future. She may need time to discuss and think about her options with a counselor, legal professional, or a friend.
Seeking Counseling Support
When you connect with an adoption agency or law firm, they can also help you access other resources, such as counseling. It’s helpful if the birth mother has access to counseling before the birth of her child. These sessions can help her make a decision about adoption and talk about some of the emotions that she will experience during pregnancy, birth, and even after the adoption has been finalized.
Emotions Around the Birth
When a child is born, it’s a wonderful and beautiful moment. This is an especially intense moment for the birth mother and the adoptive parents. For the birth mother, the birth of her child is the end of an experience that has inspired very mixed emotions, from stress to wonder. It’s also the beginning of a new relationship with her child and the adoptive family, and she may feel nervous about this future relationship. Having an adoption plan can help with some of this uncertainty. The birth mother may also want to have a support person present at the birth to help her during this emotionally intense time.
Is Adoption The Right Choice For You?
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*“Give a baby up for adoption” is no longer how we describe adoption. Today we call it “making an adoption plan.” Browse this website to learn more.