Finding Birth Parents
Do you want to find birth parents? Help With Adoption is now providing search services to adoptees looking for their birth parents.
Our birth parent search philosophy
We believe that adoptees have a right to know, if they wish, the identities of their biological family members. Many adoptees just want the information and once it’s in hand, don’t intend to act on it. Some adoptees want to know if they have siblings. For others, especially in a closed adoption, they want to know if their biological parents are looking for them. Many adoptees feel compelled to search because they wonder if their birth parents wanted a closed adoption or no contact.
Over the years, I have received hundreds of calls and emails from adoptees who are searching for their birth parents. Their stories are sometimes heartbreaking, and their earnestness has always been inspiring. As a birth mother and an adoption attorney, I’m in a unique position to help with these searches. Because I have an open adoption with my son, who knows his half sisters and other biological family members, I understand the importance of adoptees finding birth parents, and extended family members.
Get started searching for your birth parents
You can start searching right now! Any information you can collect and provide to us ahead of time will be helpful in finding birth parents. Start by determining whether your state has open adoption records. If it does, follow your state’s procedures for requesting these records. You can do this on your own or hire a local family law attorney. Please note, while we have some training in genetic genealogy, we are not private investigators nor certified genealogists. While we cannot guarantee results, we may be able to evaluate your DNA results along with other information you provide us to help track down your birth parents.
Another way to get started is to undergo a DNA test through a trusted site like Ancestry.com. We use the results of DNA testing to build a family tree through genealogical research.
Think carefully about what you want to do with the information
Some adoptees are just curious and others are consumed with the desire to find their birth parents. Assuming we are successful, what do you plan to do with this information? You might be hoping to meet your birth parents. Maybe you just want to know family is out there. Many adoptees have questions about medical and family history. You might learn things you don’t want to know.
Remember that, like some adoptees, many birth parents have experienced too much pain and loss and grief. They may not want to reconnect with the adoptee. Some birth parents’ lives don’t move in a positive direction after adoption. Their current circumstances may be difficult for adoptees to see. These aren’t reasons not to search! Just remember that a search represents hope and that while we believe you have a right to know your history and may hope for a relationship with your new-found family, we also want you to understand that they might not always want the same thing.
Our services are free to adoptees. We look forward to hearing from you!