Frequently Asked Questions
We have been in your shoes and know how to help. We are here 24/7 to answer your questions about adoption with no obligation. We will provide you with all the information necessary to decide if adoption is right for you. In addition, you will work with one of the only attorneys in the country who is also a birth mother.
There are many reasons why women choose adoption. Often they choose adoption because they want a life for their child that they are not able to provide. Other women choose adoption because they are just not ready to parent.
Adoption isn’t the right choice for everyone, if someone is pressuring you to place your baby, you need to think twice. You may feel embarrassed about your situation, but afraid you will be judged if you place your baby. In fact many family and friends are supportive of adoption. If you have financial difficulties, remember these may be temporary, be sure to research all the resources available to you before choosing adoption for this reason. It is important to seek advice and help and to make a decision based on the best interests of you and your child.
Your adoption plan should meet your own needs and expectations and will help you to make important decisions about: the type of family you want for your child, how open the adoption will be, emotional support and counseling during and after pregnancy, financial assistance during pregnancy, as well as planning your baby’s birth and creating an ongoing plan for contact with the adopting family.
Some women just “know” the right adopting parents right away, others need to collect meaningful information and make a choice. Whatever works for you is OK. Here are a few factors to consider: How much support do you want from the adopting parents? Do you want the adopting family involved with medical visits and at delivery? What kind of connections with the adopting family do you envisage and what are they comfortable with? You may also consider factors such as religion, neighborhood and extended family.
Many women like to work with an attorney on their adoption plan because they feel confident that an attorney will be her advocate and will ensure all legal aspects of the adoption are properly taken care of.
Help with Adoption will work closely with you to address all the details of what happens during labor, delivery and post-delivery. You will decide if the adopting parents will be present, who will hold the baby first, who the baby will be discharged to. This is all part of your adoption plan.
Your plan for after the adoption is important. You will complete a post contact agreement which will be filed with the court. This agreement is tailored to whatever contact you and the adopting parents want for the future. Help with Adoption only works with adopting parents who are open to contact after the birth. You decide what type of contact and how often you would like it.
Many women just know instinctively that they have found the right family. Help with Adoption will help you to focus on what is most important to you. If the adoptive family meet your expectations in terms of educations, discipline, lifestyle, religion, neighborhood and extended family, that’s a good starting point. Ultimately, the biggest and most important questions is “Will they love this child with heart and soul?” If you know in your heart that the answer is yes, then you are choosing a good family.
Most states allow the adopting family to cover the birth mother’s pregnancy related expenses, this typically includes living expenses. Some states limit the overall amount or the types of expenses that can be covered. The laws of your particular state and the laws of the state where the adopting family lives will affect this. We are experts in determining what expenses are allowed and will work hard to make sure your needs are met.
This is entirely your choice. We do encourage counseling for the birth parents both prior to and after the arrival of the baby and we understand the grieving process a birth family may go through around the birth of the child.
Yes. Every situation is different and there are times when a birth father doesn’t want to be involved in the adoption plan, or is unaware of the pregnancy. Whatever your situation, we have the legal tools to help. We can help even if: you aren’t sure who the baby’s father is, your baby’s father is in jail, your baby’s father refuses to cooperate or if you are married and your spouse is not the baby’s father.
Yes. We have a blog where birth moms can post as well as a private forum where you can chat online with other birth moms. We are happy to put you in touch with other women who understand your situation and know what you are going through. Furthermore, our lead attorney is herself a birth mom, she has been in your shoes and can offer advice.