help with adoption
Megan Cohen, Birth Attorney

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My friend is having too much contact with her baby

Dear Megan, A friend from church might be having too much contact with her baby.  She made an adoption plan for her daughter who was born a couple months ago.  She is struggling, hanging by a thread, she says.  We had lunch yesterday, and she told me the adoptive family texts her pictures all the time, comes to her home to visit, and invites her to come to church with them and the baby.  My friend has long crying epi...
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Gift ideas for the child that was adopted

Dear Megan, I am meeting my son I gave up for adoption 22 years ago.  We have been in touch over the past years on Facebook and by texting.  His bio dad and I are meeting him in person for the first time this weekend with our spouses.  My question is this: I want to bring him a small gift and I’m not sure what to get him.  I have wanted to send him gifts to celebrate his accomplishments in the past but it never...
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Adoptive mom wants to breastfeed at the hospital

Dear Megan, My baby is due in three months, and I love the couple I have picked to adopt her.  But now all the uncomfortable conversations are happening.  I want to make sure I’m doing what’s best for my baby, not for me and the adoptive parents.  Is it bad or not helpful for me to breastfeed at the hospital?  Or should I pump or bottle feed?  Adoptive mom wants to try to breastfeed and send her milk to t...
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I think my closed adoption just cracked open

Dear Megan, I gave a baby up for adoption many years ago when I was raped at 18.  It was a closed adoption.  I wanted to give my child a better life and it felt like the best thing to do.  Recently my mom did DNA testing.  She was contacted by someone who I believe is my biological daughter.  My husband and family don’t know the circumstances about the adoption.  I am so stressed and unsure of what to do.  My m...
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Why I put my child up for adoption–is brutal honesty ok?

Dear Megan,  I put my child up for adoption in 2005 when I was in a rough spot.  In the past two years I’ve gotten back on track.  I recently received an update from my child’s parents.  They said I could write and send some items and pictures.  I’m wondering if I should go above and beyond everything to explain why I put my child up for adoption? How he was loved and still is?  Is brutal honesty to...
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Is my 15 year old son on the hook for child support?

Dear Megan, My teenage son and his teenage girlfriend are having a baby and we don’t know if she can sue him for child support.  It was not planned as they are both in school and depend on us, their parents.  My son wants to give the baby up for adoption but his girlfriend doesn’t.  We support our son.  We’re afraid that he will be on the hook for child support and still may not be allowed in this b...
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My friends and family don’t notice I’m pregnant

Dear Megan, I don’t know how my friends and family (mom especially) don’t see that I’m pregnant.  I mean, yeah, I do try to hide it, but it’s getting almost impossible to hide.  I’ve never had an unplanned pregnancy before so I’m not sure what to expect.  Still, I’m surprised no one has said anything.  – K Dear K., There are a lot of reasons families don’t acknowl...
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My daughter wants to meet and I’m afraid I’ll mess it up

Dear Megan, I gave my daughter up for adoption almost thirteen years ago and she is now ready to meet.  I have no clue how to respond to her questions.  Please help.  I am so scared I might mess this all up.  – E. Dear E., Your fears are totally normal!  Don’t worry–you will not mess anything up.  Most adoptees want to meet their birth parents out of curiosity.  For many it satisfies the need to jus...
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