help with adoption

Adoption Advice From Megan Cohen

Talking To Children About Adoption – How To Explain Adoption At Birth To My 8 Year Old

Hello, I am seeking advice. When I was 20 I gave my daughter up for adoption at birth; she will be 16 this year. Since then I have completed college, married and had a son, who is 8. I have always been honest with my son about being a birth mom and the adoption. My son recently started telling his friends and teachers that he has a sister. This is awkward for me because not many people know about the adoption and peo...
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Consider the Adoptee Perspective First

Dear Megan, I need an adoptee perspective.  I’m 25 years old and due in September.  I’m a mother of two beautiful girls and this pregnancy was a complete accident.  I was contemplating giving my unborn child to my sister.  Her son passed away a few years ago when he was a newborn due to a genetic disorder.  I’m honestly not sure what I’m going to do or not.  I’d be completely happy to keep the baby.  But I also know ...
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Privacy & Adoption – My 8 Year Old Is Outing Me

Hello, I am seeking advice about privacy. When I was 20 I gave my daughter up for adoption at birth; she will be 16 this year. Since then I have completed college, married and had a son, who is 8. I have always been honest with my son about being a birth mom and the adoption.  But now I’m a little concerned about our privacy. My son recently started telling his friends and teachers that he has a sister. However...
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Reunified: today our relationship involves more than cards on birthdays

Dear Megan, I placed my son for adoption over 20 years ago. We met this year, and other than the birth of my two daughters many years later, this has been the most amazing experience of my life. There was an instant connection, an instant BOND between my birth son and I. Over the past month we have spent a lot of time talking, catching up, sharing. It’s been an utterly amazing month. My birth son and I are in c...
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Are Second Thoughts About Adoption Normal?

Dear Megan, I am having second thoughts about adoption.  I gave my baby up for adoption over the weekend, and she is now home with her adoptive parents and I feel overwhelmed.  The adoptive parents are amazing.   Adoption feels like the right thing in my situation.  But I can’t stop crying.  I miss my baby.  Did I make a mistake?  Please help.  – M.R. Dear M.R., The loss of giving a baby up for adoption i...
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Struggling Post Adoption – Feeling Like The Odd Man Out & Struggling With My Emotions

Dear Megan, I am struggling with my emotions and searching for help as to what to do after meeting my daughter and her adoptive parents.  So far all of our visits have been wonderful, but after this last one, something changed in  me.  I have felt the need to step back because my heart is sad and full  at the same time.  My daughter is in her 20s, and we met for the first time just one year ago.  We have visited 6 ti...
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My Mom Gave Up a Baby Before I Was Born

Dear Megan, I just found out yesterday that my mom gave up a baby 6 years before I was born. I am 20. Mom was raped and gave the baby up, and everyone in my family had known about this and never told us. I have been in shock the first two days of knowing but I feel sick and I feel like my family will never be the same again.  At first I was excited to find out I had a half sibling out there who wanted contact but now...
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Post Adoption Guilt – I Feel So Guilty, Is This Normal?

Dear Megan, I’m feeling guilty.  I was contacted by my son who I gave up 49 years ago.  He found me because adoption records are now open in my state.  In his email he says he had a great upbringing, wonderful parents, and has a great job and partner.  I was 19 and still in school when I gave him up.  He contacted is bio father first and was turned away, and I think this bothers him.  I have been married for ov...
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Can Birth Parents Change Their Mind?

Dear Megan, Hi, I’m a birth mom, giving my baby up for adoption, and I’ve accepted financial assistance from the agency.  I thought I had my mind made up a couple months ago, but now I’m not so sure.  My baby’s kicks are getting stronger, and now I can feel my self starting to attach.  I don’t know where or who to go to for legal advice because I’m not working right now.  If I do g...
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Setting Boundaries With Birth Daughter

Dear Megan, How do I set boundaries with my birth daughter?  I’ve been reunited with my birth daughter since she turned 18, and now she’s nearly 30.  We’ve had many close times and many distant times over the years.  She is currently going through a very difficult time in her life and has recently moved in with me.  She’s been here a month, and it has been difficult at times to talk with her. ...
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