help with adoption
Megan Cohen, Birth Attorney

Contact Megan today

Email Text

Completely confidential. Who is Megan?

Dear Megan

Are second thoughts about adoption normal?

Dear Megan, I am having second thoughts about adoption.  I gave my baby up for adoption over the weekend, and she is now home with her adoptive parents and I feel overwhelmed.  The adoptive parents are amazing.   Adoption feels like the right thing in my situation.  But I can’t stop crying.  I miss my baby.  Did I make a mistake?  Please help.  – M.R. Dear M.R., The loss of giving a baby up for adoption i...
Read More

Feeling the odd man out and struggling with my emotions

Dear Megan, I am struggling with my emotions and searching for help as to what to do after meeting my daughter and her adoptive parents.  So far all of our visits have been wonderful, but after this last one, something changed in  me.  I have felt the need to step back because my heart is sad and full  at the same time.  My daughter is in her 20s, and we met for the first time just one year ago.  We have visited 6 ti...
Read More

My Mom Gave Up a Baby Before I Was Born

Dear Megan, I just found out yesterday that my mom gave up a baby 6 years before I was born. I am 20. Mom was raped and gave the baby up, and everyone in my family had known about this and never told us. I have been in shock the first two days of knowing but I feel sick and I feel like my family will never be the same again.  At first I was excited to find out I had a half sibling out there who wanted contact but now...
Read More

I feel so guilty-is this normal?

Dear Megan, I’m feeling guilty.  I was contacted by my son who I gave up 49 years ago.  He found me because adoption records are now open in my state.  In his email he says he had a great upbringing, wonderful parents, and has a great job and partner.  I was 19 and still in school when I gave him up.  He contacted is bio father first and was turned away, and I think this bothers him.  I have been married for ov...
Read More

Can I keep my baby even if I’ve accepted financial assistance?

Dear Megan, Hi, I’m a birth mom, giving my baby up for adoption, and I’ve accepted financial assistance from the agency.  I thought I had my mind made up a couple months ago, but now I’m not so sure.  My baby’s kicks are getting stronger, and now I can feel my self starting to attach.  I don’t know where or who to go to for legal advice because I’m not working right now.  If I do g...
Read More

How do I set boundaries with my birth daughter?

Dear Megan, How do I set boundaries with my birth daughter?  I’ve been reunited with my birth daughter since she turned 18, and now she’s nearly 30.  We’ve had many close times and many distant times over the years.  She is currently going through a very difficult time in her life and has recently moved in with me.  She’s been here a month, and it has been difficult at times to talk with her. ...
Read More

How to support grandparents in adoption

Dear Megan, I want to know how to support grandparents in adoption.  I am trying to help my friend who just found out her youngest daughter had a baby shortly before she moved back home.  She put the baby up for adoption in an open adoption.  How do I help this grandmother?  How do I comfort her?  I can’t imagine what she’s going through–I have two grandchildren myself.  Mutual so-called friends hav...
Read More

My friend is having too much contact with her baby

Dear Megan, A friend from church might be having too much contact with her baby.  She made an adoption plan for her daughter who was born a couple months ago.  She is struggling, hanging by a thread, she says.  We had lunch yesterday, and she told me the adoptive family texts her pictures all the time, comes to her home to visit, and invites her to come to church with them and the baby.  My friend has long crying epi...
Read More

Gift ideas for the child that was adopted

Dear Megan, I am meeting my son I gave up for adoption 22 years ago.  We have been in touch over the past years on Facebook and by texting.  His bio dad and I are meeting him in person for the first time this weekend with our spouses.  My question is this: I want to bring him a small gift and I’m not sure what to get him.  I have wanted to send him gifts to celebrate his accomplishments in the past but it never...
Read More

Adoptive mom wants to breastfeed at the hospital

Dear Megan, My baby is due in three months, and I love the couple I have picked to adopt her.  But now all the uncomfortable conversations are happening.  I want to make sure I’m doing what’s best for my baby, not for me and the adoptive parents.  Is it bad or not helpful for me to breastfeed at the hospital?  Or should I pump or bottle feed?  Adoptive mom wants to try to breastfeed and send her milk to t...
Read More