Arianna, age 20, Arizona
Why I chose Adoption: Arianna’s story.
I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant. Emotionally, financially, and mentally unstable. Just in a really difficult time in my life. I didn’t find out until I was almost 4 months. Honestly, I knew in my heart I was pregnant, but I didn’t want to face it. I thought ignoring it would make it go away.
Facing the facts
Obviously that wasn’t the case. The father was non existent. We were seeing each other, but it was nothing official unfortunately. When I found out, I was terrified. I cried for hours and hours. I felt so alone. Adoption hadn’t crossed my mind, until my mom’s best friend told me about a couple that had been trying for years to have a child but were unable to. She told me about Megan Cohen and how to contact her. I thought about it for weeks. It was important to me that I take my time to make sure I was making the right decision for me and for this baby. I wanted to be able to explain to my baby some day why I chose adoption.
Why I Chose Adoption
After weeks of thought, I decided to go for it. I contacted Megan and within a half an hour, she called me back. After speaking with her for a good hour and finding out she is a birth mother herself, it made me feel so comfortable. I knew I was speaking with someone who knew exactly where I was coming from. She sent me information on my son’s future parents, and after reading it, I was all in. Knowing someone who is like family to me that had ties with them made me feel so much better about it. I didn’t have to worry about them changing their mind about the adoption being open.
The months went by. Each day I grew more and more excited for them, knowing that I was making their dream of finally having a family come true. It really took the stress off my shoulders.
The day finally came! I was induced, and after 3 days of labor and 1 hour of pushing without any results, we decided to go for a c section. Normally, hospitals only let 1 person into the operating room. But because they knew about the adoption, and knew that I also wanted my mom in there with me to keep me calm, they let 2. I had my mom and my baby’s adoptive mother in there, so that she could be the first to hold him.
Falling in love with my son
When I saw him for my first time I fell in love. I couldn’t help but fall in love, even though I knew I wasn’t the one that was going to be the one leaving the hospital with him in my arms. So I tried to distance myself a bit so that I wouldn’t get attached. But his parents, being the amazing people they are, brought him into my room every day for the 3 days I was recovering.
I held him for the first time 2 days after he was born. For some reason, I made a point to never cry in front of them. I only cried when I left the hospital and probably every day for months after that. It was so difficult. I was depressed, suffering from terrible anxiety and just could not get myself to be happy. But deep down, I knew that I had made the right decision. I gave my little boy a chance at the life that I never had. With a mother and a father that were more than capable of taking care of a child.
He’s almost 2 now, and I love that boy more than I love myself. It’s still difficult of course, but it gets easier to deal with each day. I wouldn’t take my decision back for the world. It was the greatest adventure I have ever been a part of. I’m so blessed to have found such perfect parents for my baby, and that they are so willing to still let me be a part of his life. Megan made it so easy for me, and I cannot thank her enough for being there and advocating for me every step of the way.
Images Courtesy of Family Formation: Client photos printed with permission