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Megan Cohen, Birth Attorney

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Be Honest About The Birth Father

Learning that you’re pregnant when you aren’t ready to parent can bring many emotions. One concern you may have regarding the pregnancy is sharing the news with the birth father. While you may be tempted to hide the pregnancy from the birth father and conceal the father’s identity during the adoption process, this may be a mistake. Here are several reasons why honesty is important when it comes to the birth father when you’ve chosen adoption.  Remember that you don’t have to talk with him if you don’t want to.  We can handle everything for you.  

Every situation is different, and there are certainly times when a birth father doesn’t want to be involved in the adoption plan.  Whatever your situation, we have the legal tools to help.  Here are some situations where birth mothers worry that they can’t do an adoption because of the baby’s father.  We can help even if:

  • You aren’t sure who the baby’s father is
  • You aren’t sure what his name is or where he lives
  • Your baby’s father is in jail
  • Your baby’s father refuses to cooperate with the adoption
  • You are married and your spouse is not the baby’s father
Honestly about the birth father helps to simplify and ease the adoption process/

Honesty about the birth father helps to simplify and ease the adoption process.

Solidifies the Adoption

The last thing you want after choosing adoption, selecting the adopting parents, and entering the final stages of pregnancy, is for the birth father to discover the pregnancy and attempt to undo the adoption process. While breaking the news of the pregnancy and your choice of adoption to the birth father may be difficult, it will be far less difficult than handling the series of events that may occur if the birth father is informed of the child in the future.

If you’re uncomfortable telling the birth father about your pregnancy, we can help. We can tell him about the pregnancy and the adoption and will handle any legal processes that may follow.

Not all women are comfortable bringing the birth father into the adoption process, and that’s OK. However, if you are comfortable with bringing him into the adoption process, you may decide to work together in selecting an adopting family. This could solidify your choice of adoption, and you may find the birth father to be a source of support after the child is taken home by the adopting family. However, again, if you aren’t comfortable with bringing the birth father into the adoption process, we can be the source of contact with him.

Respects the Father’s Rights

By sharing the birth father’s identity with us, you will be allowing us to ensure that all of his rights are upheld during the adoption process. This will leave less room for error during each step in the adoption process and can help everything move more smoothly.

Provides Important Medical Information

The more information that’s available on the child’s family history, the better. Medical information is important for several reasons, including to determine if the child is at an increased risk for certain diseases and to help the adopting family learn as much as possible about their adopted child. Honesty regarding the child’s birth father will help to more fully round out the child’s important medical information.

Allows the Adoptee to Identify the Birth Father

By providing the identity of the birth father from the beginning, you’ll be allowing the adoptee to reach out to both you and the birth father in the future. Often, adopted children have questions regarding their birth families including why they were adopted, who their birth families are, and more. Whether the child will reach out to you or the birth father in the future can depend on many factors including on whether an open or closed adoption was chosen and also on the decisions of the adopting parents. If you prefer that the adopting family and child not have contact with the birth father or that they contact you before reaching out to him, we can arrange that as well.

Contact Us

You can send me your questions about adoption or ask me to send you more information.  Your communication with me is always confidential, and you’re never under any obligation to do an adoption.  I’m here to help, not to pressure you or tell you what to do.


Megan Cohen, Birth Attorney

Contact Megan Today

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