Important Note: Though “give a baby up” is sometimes used to describe this process, we truly feel it is a carefully made decision from love and not giving up at all!
Talk to Someone
This can be an overwhelming time. It’s important to have support as you make choices and make a plan. Talk with a trusted family member, friend, or counselor. Many women are surprised at how compassionate and respectful others are.
I was 21 years old and really afraid to tell my parents, so I wrote them a note. I told them that I was pregnant and was planning to give my baby up for adoption. I told them to let me know when they were ready to talk. I’m happy to share my experiences with you if you’d like to talk with me first.
Decide if adoption is right for you. Adoption is a very personal decision. It isn’t the right choice for everyone. Here are a few things I encourage all women to consider as they decide if adoption is right for them.
- Adoption is a choice you make freely and without pressure. Don’t choose adoption if someone is pressuring you, whether it’s your family, friends or the birth father.
- Adoption is permanent. Your parental rights will be terminated in an adoption. Don’t choose adoption if you want to co-parent with the adopting parents.
- You have rights in an adoption. Before you choose adoption, make sure you you’re your rights. You should also know the baby’s father’s rights.
Make an Adoption Plan
It can be as simple or detailed as you want. You don’t even have to write it down. Your plan is a road map through the adoption process. It reflects how you want the adoption to unfold and what you want for the future.
I can help you make a plan and will ask you to think about the following:
- Open or semi-open or closed adoption. Understand the different types of adoption.
- Choose an adoptive couple. The couples and families I work with are people I know really well.
- Hospital planning. I will help you think about what to expect at the hospital.
Stay in Touch
Most women want to know that they can stay in contact with the baby and the adoptive family.
This contact can be as simple as annual photos and updates. Some women want more contact and want to know that they can see their baby in the future. I didn’t know how much contact I wanted with the adoptive family. There were times I wanted more and times when I wanted less.
The couple who adopted my baby were really flexible and open, so I had just the amount of contact I was comfortable with. Now that my son is in his 20’s, my husband, daughters, and I see him a couple times per year.
Although you may feel overwhelmed, you are not alone! You can contact me anytime 24/7 with questions or concerns.
I look forward to speaking with you.